Thursday, February 14, 2013

Marriage Series: Partnership

I think Jami, from the nato's 
took this pic at a friends house, 
I dig it.

I'm a day late with my marriage series post, sorry about that Courtney and Morgan! If you have time, go check out what they wrote, they're great!

It's taken my husband and I years and years to arrive to certain areas in our marriage. And many remain untouched still. It takes work, a lot of work. I mean, a lot. And I honestly believe that if two people aren't working toward a partnership, there will be no success. Or very little. That's not to be negative, it's just a reality. It literally takes two to tango. In the last year I've seen my husband and I come together more than I have since the first three years of our marriage (we've been married 10). Some of the ways that he has tried on his part, aren't what I necessarily would want first, (and I've learned it's healthy to express what you want in your marriage, so that's why I use the word want. I'm an others focused kinda gal, so I am typically uncomfortable with words like "I' or "want"). 

Here's what I mean. At the end of the day what I want most out of my marriage is a deep union with God. Kevin and I both have relationships with God, but obviously they look a lot different, and it's taken me years to realize that that's ok. But if I'm perfectly honest, I'd tell you that I wish we were more similar in our walks with God.
I also wish my husband talked more about our relationship and how he's feeling (yep, busted, I'm one of those women). I also long for him to pay more attention to me, but I am doing all I can not to focus on the parts that are missing, it's challenging, but boy am I trying. 

If you've read any of my past posts on marriage, you know it hasn't been easy for me. I've spent most of my marriage fighting my way through. But like I said, this last year we've come together, his in his own way, and me in my usual ways, plus a little edited, (if you want to know what I mean by that email me).

So this little book has been one way we've come together. My husband got it for me for Christmas, and every night, he reads it to us. It's been a great tool to come together, and break out of our usual mode of watching our shows right away in the evening. Not only that, but it's brought us together in a unique way. We went to a coffee shop a couple of weeks ago, and meal planned. Together. It was his idea! And it worked quite well. Because what we are learning from the book is how to be more economical in what we cook, and how to make food and money go further in unique ways. I highly recommend this book, it's amazing! The author gives such cool techniques and some cool recipes.

Back to the meal planning. We brought notebooks, pens, and some cookbooks, and basically got all organized for one week. We picked out 5 recipes, made the shopping list and went shopping together. It was cute to see my husband trying to figure out what is what in the produce section. We then, successfully made all 5 meals over a span of about a week and a half. We tried new things not only food wise, but as partners we accomplished something for our home and family, it was pretty cool. My husband even got in the kitchen and cooked a few meals!

We made brown sugar together one night
it was a fun little adventure!

One other thing we are doing together as a team is keeping a task list. It's from an app called Astrid, it's awesome. Since my husband is OCD, and that's been such a huge challenge in our marriage, is communicating, and because he has trouble doing more than one thing at a time, so basically, my chatter he can't handle LOL, this has been a great tool for the both of us.

I've realized one of the best parts of marriage is the exploring. Yes things can become mundane and we can end up disappointed over and over but...

I've come to understand that yes, there are real disappointments, but if we take the focus off of ourselves, and onto the other person, or put the focus on the us, and come together as partners wanting to move forward with whatever, things usually settle down and become a bit easier, and more fun. Lots of surprises along the way too if you are both willing to jump in.

We have had to get creative in our marriage, and it's brought us to new places.

My cousins wedding/12/12