Monday, May 6, 2013

My Face Is Changing

Making Peace with a New Face

What does your face show? As I look at photos of myself recently, I do see aging. And not in a negative way. After almost 40 years, I am starting to see a woman who is coming together, and standing in a lot of victory. But still has a long way to go.

As I am looking into how I am going to say goodbye to my only child in August (as she leaves for college), it's evident to me that it will be another milestone that I confidently will find victory in. I doubt myself-that I can't live without her. Hey, you try getting a kid at 19 or 20, you'll see the bond is so deep there aren't words to describe it. I've built my adult life around this child, around motherhood. The last 20 years.

But back to being victorious as a woman. What have you found victory in? I know as years to come I inevitably will age even more, and faster. And I will then, with God at my side, see more victory. Our faces hold so much--sadness, joy, pain, distress, confusion, happiness, laughter, despair, excitement, fright, relief, and so much more. My face has experienced all of those and a million others.

There is satisfaction in seeing how I'm aging in the last year or two. I look at a girl, who has been so broken and down and out for many many years, and who has faced so much hardship and difficulty. But then I  found my prince, and then was broken again for years. I see triumph in the trials I've faced, persevering through an illness that has fought to keep me down for years. I've had happiness, joy and severe pain. I'm constantly moving to my hearts beat. Always wanting to dig deeper, find the meaning, and grow in wisdom. I put my all in everything I do, and in all my relationships because I know that that is where life is found and where we feel complete and connected. Only to be burned. But who hasn't? We have all lost, loved, and started over. I feel like I'll be starting over in less than 4 months.

I am happy and feel peace that as I go forth with this new life waiting for me in the next 6 months, that I can confidently post of photo of myself on FB, or on my blog-- and my daughter will know that I think I am beautiful. And you're beautiful. That I stand in victory over much and more to come. To tell your child that you are finally to a place where you have self acceptance is probably your greatest gift to her. 

What victories does your face show? Are you seeing aging, but embracing it? Can you tell your son or daughter that you think you are beautiful and that you accept yourself? Flaws, perfect imperfections and all?